Yes, all donuts must die. Even the most beautiful creations from Holtman’s must finally come to an end. Just as you get more and more attached to them with every bite, you never know when your brain will go all Red Wedding on you and decide to end it. You truly have no control over the carnage that ensues. With that being said, it’s kind of similar to the world of Game of Thrones, which led us to the conclusion that every donut at Holtman’s reminds us of certain characters on the show. With that being said, here are our thoughts on which character best represents each donut…
Maple Bacon – Jaime Lannister
Okay, okay… bear with us here. We know how popular the Maple Bacon Donut is where Jaime is not, but if you really think about it, he’s the ideal candidate. When it comes to his love for his family, he’s actually a pretty sweet guy, but if we look at his track record with how he treats others… well, he leaves us feeling a bit salty. This complex mix of sweet and salty perfectly sums up our feelings for Jaime Lannister. We have mixed feelings.
Red Velvet – Cersei Lannister
When you think about it, who else would be fitting for Red Velvet? After all, it’s the same color as wine, and it’s been made quite obvious that Cersei loves her Red Wine. A lot. She also seems to look more powerful when wearing the color, as seen above. Deep and rich, there’s no other option here.
Fruity Pebbles – Tyrion Lannister
Oh, Tyrion, you’re such a colorful character and we have yet to find a person who doesn’t love you for some reason or another. Always one to bring light to nearly any situation, would there be a better match than Fruity Pebbles? Nope. Looks like the “God of Tits and Wine” has been captured perfectly, and we’re sure he was the inspiration for this beautiful creation.
Original Glazed – Hodor
I mean, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Hodor’s simple nature and ability to only mutter a single word make him the ideal candidate to match with the basic Glazed Donut. Obviously, though, as you learn throughout the series, he’s a sweet and simple man and well-liked by everyone close to him.
Pro Tip: Don’t forget to hold the door for other customers walking out. It’s only courtesy. 😉
German Chocolate – Ramsay Bolten
Sinfully delicious, it’s easily one of the best at being dark and satisfying. Not always the most popular for those who aren’t fans of coconut, but it’s everything to those who already like it’s nutty, unique characteristics. Truly memorable, everyone has strong feelings about it, just like Ramsay himself.
Blueberry Maple – Daenerys Stormborn
Beautiful and reclusive at times, it’s rare to see, kind of like a dragon sighting in the series. But when you finally get to have one, you’re reminded of just how intricate and powerful it is. Just like Dany, every time it makes an appearance, it seems like the people are bowing down to its superior taste. In other words, when you get a chance, you need to go out of your way to have one.
Chocolate with Sprinkles – Jon Snow
Jon Snow is a deep character that still gives you all the feels. He has a lot of things in common with a lot of viewers, so we have attachment to him. He’s a simple guy in a complex world. The chocolate frosting and sprinkles are something we’re used to and love. What’s not to like, right?
Thin Mint – Petyr Baelish
Alright, we admit it, we shamelessly like Littlefinger. We can’t give too much away, but it’s well known that mint is supposed to boost brain power, and when it comes to living “knowledge is power,” no one does it better. A little dark, like the chocolate, but always providing a unique perspective, we just had to include him, because no one plays the game better.
Agree? Disagree? Think other donuts are similar to your favorite character? Tell us in the comments!