When you’re from the city that has some of the worst drivers in America, you already have a lot of forces working against you when driving in Cincinnati. If that’s not bad enough, there are potholes that seemingly fall to the center of the earth all along the highways and backstreets of the city as well. Needless to say, it’s pretty much like driving through the gates of hell every time you simply try to take a peaceful drive to your friendly neighborhood Kroger store. So long, shocks and struts! Who needs a suspension system anyway?

If all that isn’t bad enough, there’s now been a recent sighting of a crocodile sticking his head out of one of Cincinnati’s innumerable potholes. Upon closer investigation, the croc snapped at locals as they tried to get a peek. One of Cincinnati’s classy onlookers couldn’t help but notice some of the finer features of the beast.

“Yup, I swear it’s teeth were five inches long and as cattywampus as all get out,” he said. “It’s bad enough that these kids have to worry about falling in and breaking their legs, but now they might even get drugged down to who knows where.”

Later that night, crews came to investigate the scene, but the crocodile was nowhere to be found. Probes have been sent down to measure the depth of the hole, but so far they’re still falling. Looks as if it may finally be time to patch up some of those holes!

Matt Teaford is a meatatarian, craft beer enthusiast, and follower of his spirit animal, which he believes to be a Kodiak Bear. He can often be found hiking in the backwoods of Kentucky or bragging about both his hometown of Cincinnati and expansive knowledge of music. Except Polka. He knows nothing about Polka.

Matt founded CityNova because he wants people to experience life for all that it’s worth. He also thinks that nap time should be offered by all employers. Since he found no such opportunity, he thought a startup might be his best chance.

He’s also a political Independent who vies for true transparency and accountability in government, but that’s neither here nor there…