Let’s have a chat, shall we? Let’s go ahead and cover the fact: If you’re reading this, unless you’re unbelievably curious about the psychology of Tinder-goers, you probably keep rage quitting Tinder and subsequently re-downloading it less than a week later. Maybe you think you’ve found the right person and a week later you find out you they keep a jar full of old toenail clippings or you just find it hard to keep up with all the messages and give up only to come back, but here you are. You’re still single. You’re still mindlessly swiping through face after face of people; some of which you honestly think are attractive and others where you settle and say “meh, you’ll do.” Either way, here you are.
Disclaimer: There are a lot of people on Tinder who love hooking up and love dating with no strings. Perfect! Keep doing you. That’s really the only thing that Tinder is good for. Let’s not kid ourselves here. If you want Christian Mingle, don’t get on Tinder. There’s also Farmer’s Only. Have fun with that.
So, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business: Boy, doesn’t Tinder make you feel pretty good every time someone super attractive swipes right on you and you match? Huh, how about that? You get a little bit of a thrill from it every time you do it. There’s a term for what you’re experiencing: Instant Gratification. It sure is easy to swipe right and get a match, and it feels good. You have to exert minimal effort to get maximum results. Whether you have low self-esteem or you just like feeling important, this is one reason why you keep coming back to the ol Tinderverse. What’s easy is what’s good, right?
Speaking of which, there are a lot of people who are just plain lazy. Who needs to go through the formal song and dance of getting to know someone when you can send the same sleazy pick-up line over and over again. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.” Whoa, real original. At least make it a little more interesting, you know? Let me tell you something: That first message better demonstrate some real effort if someone’s going to be interested in you. When there are 400 matches waiting and your first message is “hey :),” you’re probably not going to get an answer. So you’ll probably get all bummed out and quit. If you want to end your Tinder spree of awkward dates, be more selective and unmatch those who can’t hold a conversation. Save yourself the time and invest in someone who asks you real questions about who you are or what you aspire to do. If you want something real, stop being lazy, or you’ll find yourself in that same loop over and over again.
Finally, there are many people on Tinder who keep getting used by someone for one reason or another, and we sympathize with you. There are a lot of real a-holes out there who honestly find it easier to lie and use people to attain their means rather than being honest. We don’t get down with that. Here’s the thing, though: You can avoid most of this by waiting it out. Avoid the instant gratification monkey that wants you to jump into a date real quick, and be patient. Waiting it out will save you the hassle of rage quitting time and time again. Honestly, it all comes down to the old adage that “good things come to those who wait.” Let’s face it, you’re probably just being impatient.